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Still curious about the late acne onset, I asked Marcia if I should get tested for PCOS – she took the question as me wanting to get it done and handed over the blood test request form to me.

I was prepared to pay for the lab fee since I am not a resident (although I know with my work visa, I am entitled to healthcare here – I wasn’t too sure about lab tests) – but whee! Got my passport, got my work visa slapped on it – got my blood test done for free. I expected to wait for a bit because there were about 3 people in the waiting area but the next thing I know, my name was called! I was slightly nervous (if you know me, you know I don’t do needles+blood well), thinking to myself, “What have I done? Why did I decide this so suddenly? Why did I drive to the lab directly from the surgery??? Why didn’t I think it over before coming here?”

It was all good, albeit I was a bit giggly to hide my nervousness about the needles.

(Side note: Had my first McD’s breakfast that day to replenish my loss )

Skin comparison after the cut – I’ve included older photos from the first skin update. I didn’t imagine it to be that different but looking back, I thought to myself, “WHYYYY did I let myself go out of the house looking like THAT without covering it up?????”

It is a bit difficult to get the same angle/distance/size because I had to take the pictures myself (shy lah to ask flatmate). Timeline for both set of pictures are from the start of treatment, 6 weeks, 14 weeks, 21 weeks and 25 weeks (today).

LEFT SIDE

RIGHT SIDE

Better today, you think?

By the way, I got my blood results back a week after (19th December) – I’ve not seen Marcia to discuss the results but she did scribble a note on the side of my testosterone and SHBG levels.

Probable.
Don’t know if it’s enough to go on Estelle-35ED (which was Marcia’s treatment choice if I tested positive for PCOS). We’ll see – I may book an appointment after my holiday.

It was both frustrating and infuriating – I KNOW it’s horrible but I don’t know what’s going on!

Puberty was kind to my skin, but I think the reason why it was so is because my hormones decided that it would more fun to start torturing me from my 20s. That my skin would bring me grief once I’m no longer a “teen”.

I’ve tried all sorts to clear my skin – from switching face care products (going with what family/friends recommended that worked for them), changing diet, detox, sleep, water, etc. Nothing helped.
Funny observation – skin is (more) horrible out of Malaysia (which led me to my latest “theory” of hard/soft water).

Anyway, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I really didn’t want to go on medication but I had no choice. My acne problem involved cysts and nodules (the kind where it’s under your skin, never coming up to the surface and the very angry looking ones) – I had no choice but to resign to the fact I need professional help. I didn’t want to be left with scars (though at this point, I already have a few).

There is only one dermatologist serving the HawkesBay area (so I’ve read) and it’s a loooooooooong wait to see him. I didn’t know who else to turn to, so I thought I’d have to wait it out – I went online to get the clinic’s number (the one I found in the phone book seems to be engaged ALL THE TIME – so I wondered if I had the right number) and instead, I found a GPwSI (GP with a special interest or “gypsy”) who can see me the week I called up! I chose the week after, 9th July, because it was my day off.
Since I was willing to spend my money on a specialist’s consultation, the fact that her surgery is not under the HawkesBay PHO did not bother me – I’m sure the fees would be more affordable than a specialist.

Now, a side note.
It’s not that I don’t have faith in GPs but I have no idea who to go to. I understand most would do a trial-and-error (as each patient would be different) but I know I would want to go to someone who has seen more skin problems than your usual coughs&colds. I hope to get some answers (apart from what I could search for online) as to why am I inflicted with adult acne.
[I know it's hormonal - but why? Why now? Still no answer to that, unfortunately.]

I guessed she would give me Doxycycline 100mg – it’s the only funded tetracycline (and strength).
Azelaic acid apparently suits my skin type – not only it’s an antibacterial, it will help reduce pigmentation as well (judging from the residual brown marks from previous spots). I am to use this at night and Benzoyl Peroxide in the morning.

She did give me a few choices – doxycycline+topical preparations, the pill (Estelle – but I would have to be tested for polycystic ovarian syndrome first) or isotretinoin (it does work but she admits that she is reluctant to offer that as a first choice for my case).
I said I’d like to go with the antibiotics first.

Pictures of my skin is a click away – you have been warned.

This is when I first started treatment – left side.

This was taken at 6 weeks – left side.

Ah! The flash makes it all the more horrible looking but I had to be honest with my actual skin condition. It’s also easier to use one pre-set function (thus the flash) so I could use the same function to take pictures of my progress (so that I have something “constant”).

After 4 weeks, I see no difference (in fact, I thought it looked worse!) – so I upped the application of azelaic acid to twice a day and omitted the BP.

Start of treatment – right side.

At 6 weeks – right side.

Doesn’t look like there’s any difference, right?
The doctor reckons it’s not as red anymore and the area around my chin is clearer (no breakouts but the scars are there) – this is when I saw her on Thursday, 3rd September.

She did warn me in the beginning that I would have to be patient. There is no miracle cure that works instantaneously or overnight. I’ve been “patient” for so long, trying out different face care products, so what is a few more months, right?

Both the doctor and myself, are surprised that the combination of azelaic acid and benzoyl peroxide did not cause any flaking – I think I may try a higher strength of BP.
I was sent away with a suggestion I could up my tablets to twice a day for about 2-3 weeks (it’s currently once a day and let me tell you this, I would never judge a patient ever again about compliance! ) – then reduce to once daily again.

She asked me to go back to her for another review in 2-3 months’ time. If there isn’t much progress, I think I would get tested for PCOS before considering the next step – Estelle.

Here’s hoping I need not progress to the next step!

I ATE INTO MY TROUSERS!

You may think that sentence does not make any sense.
It does, oh yes, it does!

When I got my new trousers (from work, part of my uniform), I showed it off to everyone how loose it was (that sentence making sense now?) – that I could fit a chicken into it…the crotch area of the trousers was hanging about 2 inches lower than where it should be…

Today…you guessed it!
No hanging crocth area, no fitting in chickens…

Oh dear.
Time for damage control!

…right after I finish my two portions of pasta carbonara.

Didn’t feel anymore energetic. In fact, I came home and took a nap after work!

Would I start binging on junk tomorrow?
I don’t know. Seems like a waste to go healthy and start filling myself with junk again. I would be glad to have restrictions removed – I now have the option of getting a quick lunch out if I didn’t pack one (instead of going hungry or having vegetable sticks, that’s quite sad *haha*)

Maybe it’s psychological, maybe it’s a combination of diet+skincare (going into offence mode now instead of defence), maybe it’s lighting of where I’m standing from…I think I see a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit of difference.

That digestive bitter thing is down to half a bottle…I almost gave up when I had my first dose – they don’t call it bitter for nothing! Ugh!

But I’m amazed at my compliance!
Seriously!
I thought I would convince myself after three days that that’s enough or something of the sort.

I don’t see or feel any difference, in fact, I feel tired!
How come?
I thought it’s more jing san because my body is getting rid of the toxins that are slugging me (?).

Anyway, to add to my detox (and route to the fit *ahem* bridesmaid’s role), tomorrow I start my pilates foundation!

Off topic:
I am tempted to go catch a movie tomorrow before class but I am afraid I may break my detox by getting popcorn – I am weak willed.

So better to steer clear away from temptation!

Five more days!

I had good excuses, okay!
There was the work do, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year…so I start now.

I’ve already weaned myself off coffee for the past month and I’ve not touched bread since…I don’t remember.

AGHH!!!

Day 3 and I’m already hoping it will come to an end RIGHT NOW.
I am craving (since yesterday night, so I guess from Day 2 I already beh tahan) for fast food, chips, sweets…basically all the unhealthy stuff.

I.Must.Persevere!

I nearly gave in this afternoon telling myself it’s probably okay to have ONE meal off tangent during this detox period – and I nearly had to slap myself as well.

I guess the hardest part is the restrictions with meals as well. I mean, cooking “from scratch” is fine for me but with the “no things from can”/”everything as fresh as possible” rule, it can be difficult to plan my meals – especially when I’m working.

My “saddest” lunch so far was yesterday – two boiled eggs, an apple and half a cucumber – because I finished late on Thursday and didn’t have time (or energy) to cook as I had to be work early the next day.

I went shopping and got things like gluten free pasta, brown rice, fruits and fresh vegetables…and I understand why it is not possible for everyone to go organic or gluten free – too expensive for everyday! Even now when I’m only feeding myself, I am always steering towards the more economical options (yes, it’s the kiam siap-ness)!

Then why go do it?

I don’t know.
I guess this is one of my last resorts of trying to figure out what’s causing my skin problem. I just cannot understand or accept that I had a worry free puberty and if I’m “paying back” for it now.
There is always a logical explanation!

I noticed that my skin got worse when we went over to Glasgow – maybe it’s the weather…but weather doesn’t explain why my skin did not go back to how it used to be pre-Glasgow time!

Then I thought, “Hmmm…going to Glasgow coincided with my alcohol binging!”

[Before I go on, no, I'm not an alcoholic. It was around that time a few of us accompanied Connie to clubs - frequently - because she was often "bored".]

I only thought of that now because I’ve seen a specialist to tell me that I’ve got Gilbert’s Syndrome.

So during my secondary school years, there is no such thing as alcohol binging. Why would my liver suddenly act up if I’ve always had Gilbert’s Syndrome and it never bothered me even if I stayed up late or skipped meals?
[Okay, another answer would be I lao liao ]

I have a hunch (thus the detox and I really hope it makes a difference – ohhowIsuffer!) this breakout problem may be related to my liver.

Off to Glasgow – what do I drink?
FULL CREAM MILK!
Full of hormones as well!
Liver screams for help – “First alcohol, now all these hormones?!!!”
[Back home in Malaysia, hardly took milk because of the cost.]

MissLiver has a backlog of work (she was coping with deadlines but what do you expect from only one worker?) from the day I was born but when I had the alcohol binge, that was when she gave up trying to catch up, I think.
Thus the breakouts – coinciding with leaving to Glasgow.

Every toxin…I mean, MissLiver’s work files, that has been accumulated from yesteryears broke loose.

Everything’s a mess!

That’s my theory.
Yup.
All this “pain” leads you to me being vain.

I want problem-free skin!
[Face, to be specific...and it's "again"!]

Not only is my face breaking out like crazy, I think I’ve also got keratosis pilaris (again, they say it’s particularly common in teenagers) – are these not signs of delayed puberty?!

The irony of people asking me about acne solutions – it’s just a big joke. I don’t even want to answer those questions at work, especially when I have this nagging feeling that they are scrutinizing my face. My suggestions would be redundant.

*sigh*

It’s not like I don’t wash my face (I trrrrry very hard not to pick ‘em spots!) and I’m already taking supplements. I’ve tried to cut out certain foods or changing their source (think organic and fresh) but nothing seems to work. I’ve tried products that worked for others – if it worked for me, I wouldn’t mind forking out any amount of money (yes, vain is I) but it doesn’t…and I am not able to keep up with it.

Despite knowing how to combat acne on paper, I have yet to find a solution that will work for me.

So now I have shiny, red, pimply face AND goose-bumpy upper arms (and some-other-place-which-I-shall-not-divulge).

Great.

I can die happy now.

In need of summer shoes because it’s too hot and feet gets sweaty in covered shoes.

Yay!
I was going to kompren if I didn’t receive the package by that week because they said to expect items to arrive WITHIN 14 days from order/payment.

No signature required.
It was actually left in the mailbox, not on the doorway like I photographed it.

I was wondering what was inside initially because there was no indication on the box to say it’s the SheerCover products – then I saw Guthy-Renker.
Confirm lah.

Pink inner layer.

The makeup in a little organza bag. Nice!

Line up of all the items in the package.

This is not a review because I’ve not used the products yet.

Okay, I’m lying.
I did try it on that day itself but thereafter, I’ve not touched it. I’m not as enthusiastic now because I’m lazy – it takes more time to put this on than my two-way cake. Also, I’ve not finished my current one, how can I start using the new one?
Bottom line? I’m just lazy lah.