Protected: Verbal diarrhoea

by FeR on March 23, 2019 in personal

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Part-time tree hugger

by FeR on March 9, 2019 in blabs,personal

Ugly sad face FeR – if you look behind me, that’s how far the glacier has receded (Nov 2018). It would’ve looked so different if I managed to visit before I left NZ (between 2008-2013).

For those who know me personally (and long enough), you would’ve seen/known how I feel about the environment. You may have even experienced/seen the craziness of how far I’d go when it comes to waste. I am a part-time tree hugger. I do the best I can but I’m not extremely strict (I just avoid putting myself in that situation if I can help it) and during this NZ trip, I found out that one of Eve’s pet peeves was littering. She would pick up rubbish as we walk through parks/hikes. If everyone do that little bit, the world would probably be better off that how it is now.

When I finally had my own place, I was able to have my own rules. :lol:
My council provides a big roll of biodegradable bags every year to be used in our kitchen caddy (also provided by the council) for food scraps. I make full use of my green bin because they take all food scraps – even meat and bones. The downside is that the bin only gets emptied every fortnight. This isn’t too bad in winter but it’s terrible in summer – phooey! I still persevered, though. I know WY didn’t like doing this because it smelt and there is a risk of ants (or other pests) making their way into the bins – so even though we live in the same council area, I never pushed for it when I was living with her. Her house, her rules, eh!

Needless to say, recyclables go into the recycling bin. My council takes coffee cups (some don’t) even though I now try to avoid having coffee in disposable takeaway cups. The last time I was in SYD airport, I wanted to have coffee but noticed all the cafes serve their coffees only in disposable cups (even though you’re having it in store) – I went without. I know it may seem insignificant for little ‘ol me to refuse that one cup of coffee but this is me making my stand (where I can). Makes me question – why won’t you serve me coffee in a proper cup/mug if I’m going to sit in and take my time? I have a feeling they will just push it back to “convenience”. I may have to consider taking a reusable cup with me wherever I go, or especially when I’m flying some where because they also use disposable cups on planes.

Soft plastic is a subject that is a little controversial. I’m not sure if they really do recycle them (our local supermarkets take them, not the council) so to avoid this dilemma, I try to shop with less waste. Bulk food stores, Central Market, farmers’ market, grow my own(!), community swap, choose things that come without extra packaging – choices like that. It’s difficult to avoid it entirely and it pains me to see people choosing to use disposable stuff (or not recycle and throw everything in the general waste bin). I have to not think about it too much, especially at work when we have perfectly usable cutlery (albeit the state of cleanliness is a bit dubious :lol: but I always wash before use if I’m suspicious) – why do we need to create more rubbish? And there is an ongoing debacle about taking out the rubbish. :roll:

With all that in place, I hardly fill my general rubbish bin and probably take it out once a month (not because it’s full but because, well, I want it emptied). I think what you’d find most in my general rubbish bin is hair. :pfft: :lol:
When my family came to visit, that was when my rubbish bin was emptied every week – oh my… I sort of gave up and didn’t want to stress mum further about what goes where, what/where she can buy/not buy, etc. I get it that no one fully understands how I feel or why I do what I do, so I pretty much prefer to not have anyone “help” me sort the rubbish. Even when Eiz and JoFo came to visit, they said, “Ahhhh! Too complicated, we leave it here, okay?” That’s perfectly fine to me! :hee:

I still consume meat, I still eat junk food, I still drive a car, I still turn on my air conditioning – I just do to the best that I can. I try to plan in advance with a container if I’m getting takeaway food, I avoid buying fruits/veges wrapped in plastic, I try to choose paper packaging if I don’t go to the bulk food store (eg. sugar – I pay more to buy the paper packaged brand from the supermarket), I take my rubbish home to recycle/compost, I reverted back to soap bars (I buy them from Central Market, no packaging!) and if time permits, I bus to the city. I think the most waste I’ve created is from buying things from Bunnings :pfft: – all those bags of compost/manure and potting mix.
I do try to consume less, buy less. We really do not NEED a lot of things in life. I have trimmed my wardrobe down considerably and be more conscious about buying better quality stuff that will lasts longer than fast fashion (though they are all very cute and tempting, price wise!). Mum is appalled at me buying second hand furniture! :lol:

If you have a bucket list of places to visit, do it soon. You never know if it’ll still be there in 5-10 years’ time (at the rate the world is going). Then again, air travel is not the most environmentally friendly mode of transportation. Yet I do this quite often. Ah! See the dilemma?


Week 2

by FeR on May 31, 2018 in blabs,personal

My last proper blog entry was back in December! I can’t believe it’s been that long. I wrote about seeing a fig tree and how I felt it was a sign for me to stop wandering around. Now, I’m at week 2 of my permanent job (God sent!). I can start planning my edible garden and I can finally start unpacking the rest of my things that are still in boxes.

I’ve been tired everyday after work and I really hope I’ll snap out of the lazy cycle of just wasting after work time with mindless TV programmes. I gave myself a week to settle in but I think I may need another! :P
From here on, I hope to be able to do a post a week. What about? All sorts, I guess. What’s happening around me or what I’m up to. I hope to remember the less “out there” days of my life.

Speaking of “out there”, I have been working/living away from tanahair for 10 years now. I left KLIA on the 27th of May 2008. 20 years ago was when we left school, too. Wow. I’ve never wondered about what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be at this age (when I was younger). I thought I’d be married with (two) kids by 30 (that was the “ideal” plan) but I guess I thought wrong. I have always wanted to live overseas. I’m not sure if I’ll have the life I have now if I had stayed. Or if it would’ve been better if I did stay. I only know that if I don’t give it a go, I will always wonder, “What if?” and that is why I left NZ at the end of 2013 to come to Australia. I don’t know if it’s better but I’m grateful for all that I’ve experienced (good or bad).

The me a decade ago was rather narrow minded and naive, quick to judge (these days I tryyyyy to give people the benefit of doubt) and held on to a secret that I thought I would’ve kept to my grave. I hope I am a better person now, through past experiences and relationship with others.

I have had this intermittent dull ache on the left upper quadrant for weeks now (I believe since early April). Because it went away, I didn’t think too much of it. When it kept happening for more than 3 weeks, my hypochondriac mind went into an overdrive thinking I may have an enlarged spleen (my rational mind says no). It still wasn’t enough to take me to the doctor and instead, I turned to my health industry friends in a group chat. I did not get any answers.

I finally took myself to the doctor today. I had no pain going into the doctor’s office. She palpated my abdominal areas and I had nothing to shout about. She told me that my symptoms were typical of someone with constipation (I don’t think I am, actually) and recommended a few weeks of osmotic laxatives. Everything was fine until I left the building. The pain started again (it’s still here while I’m typing this, 5 hours later). When I push into my left side, it feels slightly tender (a bruised feeling). Sigh.

I could’ve gotten my blood tests done today – if only I hadn’t eaten that ONE Hudson’s sweet (I had a tickle in my throat before the appointment!), I could’ve taken the lab request straight to the phlebotomist. Now, I have to wait for another day.


Looking forward

by FeR on March 5, 2017 in personal,work













This is something that I will be looking forward to this year – I believe this is nearly at half point mark. This is one of the reasons why I left my permanent job to work as a locum for a year or so (depending on how I get on) – the other reason was to use the perks of a locum (travel and accommodation may be provided as well, so I choose accordingly) to see more of Australia.

I hope and pray that by the time it’s ready, I will be able to find something permanent near my new home. If I can’t, I will probably continue to locum until something comes up – in the meantime, I’ll try to plan a week or two between bookings in order to enjoy having my own space. :)


Spoke to me: Giants Fall

by FeR on January 1, 2017 in personal

Everyone’s telling you
To let go of what you’re holding to
It’s too late, too far
You’re too small, it’s too hard
Throwing water on that spark
Living deep inside your heart
With oceans of reasons
The things you’re not seeing
But oh, maybe they don’t
Know what you know
That you’re not alone

Don’t you be afraid
Of giants in your way
With God you know that anything’s possible
So step into the fight
He’s right there by your side
The stones inside your hand might be small
But watch the giants fall

– Francesca Battistelli –

I have my flaws, I made mistakes and I will probably continue to make them for as long as I live. Not ones that are intentional anyway (I will strive to not make any deliberately, of course). People try to reason or define you by what you’ve done or who you were in the past. I am not the same person today as what I was yesterday, last week or 10 years ago. On that same note, I also have to learn to extend that grace to others – believing them changed for the better. Maybe it’s my romantic self that wants to believe everyone deserves a happy ending. If a second chance is not given, how will one find reason to change anyway if they will always be seen as their mistake/past? 

2016 made me cry more than my entire time in Australia. For more reasons than one. Painful, confusing, crushing, feeling unloved and alone. Feelings stirred by (sadly) both family and friends. I did what was the only thing I knew to do. I ran to God. Funny how it’s at my lowest times that I feel closest to my Jesus. 

Slowly but surely, I am rebuilding my shield. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shutting everyone out. What I mean (and I’m using Larrie’s words) is I will continue to be friendly but am learning to trust sparingly. I have this problem that I do not know how to filter people out. It’s probably my tendency to be too sentimental. How to be friendly and caring without being invested – that’s a skill for me to learn this year. However, I’ve been told by JoFo that this trait is what makes me, me. Caring to the point of hurting. That’s not a good thing to be??! I pray that regardless of how people treat me, I will continue to be true to myself. Some may say it’s stupid or risky to wear my heart on my sleeve but if it’s me, I believe those giants will indeed fall, by God’s grace. 

3 years since dad left us suddenly. As always, I really hope he did call out to God during his last moments. I hope to see him in heaven. 

I step into 2017, by choice, without having a permanent job. I am not without fear; uncertainties are scary. However, even when you are in a storm, it’s an opportunity to see a rainbow. 

Happy New Year!

P/S: this is such a mish mash of thoughts and it hasn’t got the best flow in terms of delivery – I’m jotting it down as I’m thinking of them.