FeR

Today I drove Phoebe to Jalan YapKwanSeng and paid for her last payment.
She is 100% mine from today onwards…and I’m contemplating getting rid of her. Not in the cant-wait-to-get-rid-of-her-ugh sense but more like thinking about how it’s not feasible for me to keep her when I’m only going to be back once a year or less. The current arrangement is not looking well because she’s not exactly being kept in tip-top condition (sad but true).

I want to bask in this moment for as long as possible – that I have some kind of property (albeit a depreciating one *hehe*) – but I have to be practical. Everyone’s telling me that I have to be. Everyone’s saying it’s just a car (ooo! Don’t let Phoebe hear this or she may sulk!) but I have a hard time even when THINKING of letting her go because she’s my first purchase. First BIG purchase and commitment. It’s been 5 years – that’s quite some time, y’know.

I really hate to be practical at this very moment.

1. A day off on Monday when it’s my stretch-week.

2. Boxes that arrived a week early.

3. Books that were not what I thought I ordered (that’s just dumb on my part).

4. Finishing 3 books in 2 days.

—

What is NOT surprising:

1. It’s only been 4 hours but I’m already sick of the kid. Too much unnecessary winding up of flatmate/disgusting-and-on-purpose loud burping/whinging/stomping and screaming around the house…and being so kurang-ajar-nak-kena-pelempang towards flatmate (which is what irritates me THE MOST – disrespectful!). 4 weeks without all these have been soooo good and even made me wonder, “Why would I think of leaving?”

2. My basket of laundry is still sitting in its basket. Clean, but still in the basket.

3. I’ve been in the house the entire day – in jimjams. ChristmasElf-like (all green!).

4. I didn’t get to finish (yet) the CliniciansTraining I planned for today.

5. I had “dinner” at 350pm and I’m hungry now.

Oh well! You can’t win ‘em all!

Woke up at 3am…to go to the loo.

Anyway, yesterday I had the saddest dream and I cried in it.
Well, more like bawled.

The dream was about family, lost+found, abandonment, betrayal, shock, failure – all in separate flashes of events in my dream.

Don’t leave me here.
I definitely did not want to stay in that dream – it was awful.
[Photo taken in December 2008 - I was trying to look scared at the thought of being locked in the woodshed - but I've got a slight smirk here. ]

It’s going to be a drag going to work today. I’m not used to working the full shift with the one-hour lunch break anymore. Unnecessary waste of time when I could skip it and instead, come home earlier.

Drag drag drag.

Complain complain complain.

I’m just not a morning person. Wish I was.
This is me still at home, and I’m already thinking, “I can’t wait to get home after work and sleep.”
Though, when I get back from work, I’m alert as ever.

…is the oldest text sitting in my SentFolder at the moment?

You see, sometimes when someone sends me a text, it doesn’t get to me in time – not because of the phone line provider (sometimes anyway! ), it’s because my phone would be at it’s 100% storage capacity for text messages. Total text messages sitting in my phone, in all folders. I don’t know how many it can store but I read somewhere it’s about 1000 or something.

Why would I have so many messages in FeRbile (yes, I have a name for it, too!)?
It’s not because I’m extremely popular that I get 1k texts at a time or in one day…it’s because I’m a hoarder! A sentimental one, at that. I couldn’t find a (free) software that I could use to download and save my messages – so I painstakingly transfer it onto my computer by TYPING it out.

Why do I torture myself?!

I mm seh tak delete them without having a copy – it’s like letters. You don’t throw them out after reading them, right?

I know it will come a time when I have to give them up (or hopefully find a software to help) and finally have some sanity back.

I chose yesterday to clear everything and chanced upon the oldest sent message (that I did not get to “transfer” to the computer because it was a picture message – that’s another ball game…I have to save and transfer photo from message to computer first, etc ).

Anyone would like to guess before clicking on “(more…)”? Guess the date/year and recipient of said picture message?

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