I have “written diarrhoea”

by FeR on March 4, 2016 in blabs,just me

…as opposed to “verbal diarrhoea”. 
Found this graph from a website that a friend shared about the life of an introvert. I think this describes me perfectly. I tend to forget things/further explanations/extra details when I speak (I used to write a list of things to talk about but it may come across as unnatural to some, especially new people I meet) and you may (or may not) have been a victim of my post-meet up flurry of messages (or a REALLY long single message – thankfully there is iMessage or Whatsapp now. I also prefer to type proper sentences, most of the time) to explain myself (why I did what I did or said what I said). Sometimes I can be quiet in a group meet up, only to have a text/written conversation with them after getting home (be it in a group chat or more likely, individual conversation). 

What’s wrong with me? Thankfully, nothing. :)

I am a thinker and spend heaps of time thinking. I articulate my feelings and thoughts better after processing every information I would have received from any meet up. If you push me and if I’m also uncomfortable with you (say, new acquaintances), I may end up being quiet or I will say, “I don’t know.” Unless if you talk about dogs. I will always have something to say about dogs! :hee:


Sweetest creature

by FeR on February 29, 2016 in blabs,family & friends

I got home after watching Star Wars at TTP and didn’t even notice the bag in front of our door until I walked right up to it. I saw my name on the tag and was (pleasantly) surprised. If anything, I thought it was for WY. 

How sweet are you, dear creature? EGoh, you are one of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful friends I know. How often does one get a gift sent to their door “just because” they wanted to remind you that you are loved? “Thank you” does not even come close to all the feels I had in me upon receiving these. You made me cry at my door step. :P

Even after a lapse of contact, you’re still there for me at the first moment when I needed a cheering up. I wish us being roomies could materialise! I miss our time in PJ. Thank you again for taking me in when I had no place to go. I am ever grateful! God bless your precious heart!

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Happy New Year

by FeR on December 31, 2015 in blabs,personal

I greeted the years 2014 and 2015 without a job. I am working on 1st January 2016 but I am not complaining as I am entering (finally) the new year with a job (helps that it’s only a short day, too!). 

Everyone talks about how the past year has been “such a roller coaster” ride (I have been FB stalking and yes, many used that phrase) and isn’t it funny we all think the same about our past year? In reality, life is never constant and it is full of ups and downs. If you never enquire and if you only assume, you never know what one goes through. Nothing in this world that we live in is perfect. 

This year, I was compelled to share something with mom. Funny how I thought I would NEVER breathe a word to her about it. I was able to keep everything together until she hugged me with such love that can only be attributed to God’s grace. Perhaps 10 is the number. I love you, mom!

Tomorrow is also the 2nd anniversary of dad’s passing. Somehow my brain struggles to comprehend it. Two years? Really? Are you sure? Despite seeing his memorial place when I went back in October, I still sit here feeling that he is alive in Malaysia. 

It’s the birthright of January 1st that all things are made to feel brand new, despite it being another day with no marked distinction (except for our feelings towards the day). The “reset” button is actually available every day when we wake up. Everyday is a new day. However, there is no harm in making tomorrow an extra special day. It’s like the birthday of new days. 

I wish you well for the coming year and allow me to pray for love, joy and peace (that surpasses human understanding) be the theme of your every day life. 


Spoke to me: In Me

by FeR on May 22, 2015 in blabs

If You ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves
If you ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from satan’s hand
I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
‘Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
‘Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
‘Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

– Casting Crown –

This has been played over and over again recently. I wake up with the highlighted part in my head, I hum the same part when I’m at work and I sing that same part outloud with joy when I am home.

I truly believe we can only do so much with our own capabilities and strength. We may not have full understanding of everything now but we may be revealed snippets of God’s plan for us if we press on. 

For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead. – James 2:26



by FeR on November 29, 2013 in new to me,personal

Yesterday was my last day of work. 28th November 2013.
Thursday, 12-8pm shift. I have had the Thursday late shift for a long while now.

The roster is the biggest headache for the pharmacy manager as we seem to not have enough pharmacist in Hastings – that apparently is not true (but does not explain why we can’t find any!). The place I work at is too small to warrant 3 full time pharmacists but there is too much to do for just 2 full time pharmacists.

I just wanted to jot this down for my own sake.
I have been through rosters that required the pharmacist to work 7 on-2 off-3 on-2 off (Mon-Sun, Mon/Tues off, Wed-Fri, Sat/Sun off). That was a bit difficult especially when 2 out of the 7 on involves two 10-hours shift. Right at the end of the week. It was also good because at that point I had every other weekend off.
You will feel so bad falling sick because then it will mean your partner will have to pick up your shifts (if they couldn’t find a locum). Then again, I was part of a really good team and I knew that we had each other’s backs. I have worked 10 days in a row before and did not do it with a grudge because I know we only HAD to do it when we were desperate. Those times were rare but we do it knowing that we only have each other as the strongest back-up.

I don’t remember how long I’ve had this Tues-Sat roster. Maybe since I took the job as the manager. Tues/Wed 8-4, Thurs 12-8, Fri either 8-4/12-8, Sat 8-6. That was my shift for the past year and a bit. Sometimes I had to come in on a Monday or Sunday – but it was quite good to have an extra day to catch up on paperwork. I am a workaholic! I don’t know if I am or the position has turned me into one. Not being the manager, but just being a pharmacist out of this small team. It’s great to be a small team because we would know most of everything, if not all. We know our patients/customers and can easily handle any issue because we are there most of the time.

I am really thankful for this opportunity. For those who know me personally, you would know that I came to NZ with a job I got when I was still back in Malaysia. Prior to that, I had no knowledge where Hastings was (now I love Hawke’s Bay!). I have never been to NZ before and have no family here. I travelled alone and travelled for work, I did. This is also my longest standing job with the same company. I think our patients/customers (even colleagues!) love this consistency and I do enjoy being able to provide the best service I can because I KNOW what’s going on. When a patient/customer walks into the shop, it feels good to know that I recognised and know them. It sounds cheesy and almost unreal, but I do care for their well being. Some days, I’m not as cheerful or feeling as nice, but most of the time I try to do my best as that’s my job (and it’s something I don’t entirely dislike – except with a few and we know we ALL have that few). I love the fact that my colleagues are my friends and our team cares for each other. We are like a family unit and like all families, we have our differences but we accept them or try to work things out. I will miss them all sorely! It took a while to break the barrier and be “in with it” but I learn now that all things take time.

So much has changed and I’d have never imagined being able to give flu shots or selling TMP without prescription. I submitted the application for the warfarin contract (and won it for our pharmacy) but will not get to train or put that into practice for now. I used to think all these were TOO HARD! Wow.

I am also thankful for my first 4.5 years of working 4 different jobs in 4 different companies/places. I have been exposed to hospital work, private retail work, airport retail work and pharmaceutical sales. I took with me skills that I would not learn from school or university. I like to think that I was adaptable. It certainly did help me to be more aware that this life is more than what I see/understand.

Perhaps 5 years is the minimum to start building a new life and enjoying it. My past year has been the most exciting and adventurous of my 5 years+ here in Hastings. I met new friends, became more active (physically and socially), I learnt more about my colleagues than before and dare I say it, learnt that I mean something more than just a pharmacist to my colleagues and patients/customers. I hope I have made some kind of contribution, one way or another. I’m still learning and trying to be better.

I am now jobless.
Feels a little weird but I think it still hasn’t sunk in. I feel like I’m just on a long weekend break or on annual leave. If it’s annual leave, it’s the first time I’m still at home. :P