Sluggish and spotty

by FeR on November 25, 2017 in blabs

Le sigh.

I am really too old for this – acne issues. What irritates me more is the fact that it’s flared up again for “no reason”. I do not like not knowing. Not knowing means I can’t fix it! Sitting here with a charcoal mask over my trouble areas (U of my face – cheeks and chin – and in the middle of my forehead, between my brows), feeling sorry for myself.

I’ve tried a gut repair course (did not make any difference), tried Vitex (no improvement after a bottle/month – 4 weeks is a fair chance?), tried going vegan (thought through that week, didn’t get new cystic acne – but really difficult to keep to)…what I DO know is that dairy and lack of sleep aggravates it. I got so fed up with all the trying, I just went all out eating ice-cream that’s left in my freezer (that my guests didn’t even touch!), eating cheese – then paid for it by saying hello to some new itchy, painful cystic bumps. :roll:

I’ve taken photos of my left and right profile but it seems progressively worse since May – no light at the end of the tunnel! Maybe I’ll put the photos here when (yes, still pretty optimistic as my first response although I’m thinking I don’t know if it will be better) I see any sort of improvement. In the meantime, it hasn’t got a happy ending and it’s just a collection of disgusting (to me) photos. :bum:

I am very close to giving up and am very tempted to go back on the oestrogen/cyproterone again – I KNOW it works in clearing up my skin and clear skin is what I miss. I can’t begin to explain how my feelings/confidence are affected when my skin is this bad – I know all the science (it’s not that I am “dirty” and all the acne stigma) but the psychology is hitting me hard. It doesn’t help when your family and friends points at your face and go, “What happened to your face? Why your face so bad?” As if I don’t see it in the mirror every day. :bum:

已經老了,也沒人要 – 臉那麼醜真的是太難受了

Sluggish is me around the belly (especially) – what I meant is that I feel in around my belly, it’s heavier and it makes me feel so UGH! When I first arrived here, the first two days hit 37°C!!! I don’t know if it was all the junk eating before I started work or the heat; everything (my clothing) felt so snug! Not in a good way. My trousers felt like it was cutting into my stomach and I felt constricted in my dispensing jacket :cry:

The funny thing out of this is – I’m not sure which one I want/need to fix first. :heh:

This entire entry may seem like a PMS rant; maybe it is. That’s the beauty of a blog. It’s mine, it’s not in your face (unless you choose to read it/click on the website), it’s my space to dump my thoughts and record my things. I haven’t done it in a loooooong while. Sometimes I need this to see what I’ve been doing/going through – can’t have a group to catch up with physically because of the traveling for work this year.

Let me end this post with a photo of this place here:

P/S: Just suck it up and do something about it, FeR! You obviously don’t want it enough to continue sneaking in Tim Tams and potato chips. Yea, don’t think I didn’t see that! And you say you want to jog/run continuously for 5km – what are you doing now? What have you done for the entire week to work up to it? NOTHING. Exactly. *drops mic*

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