Better to have loved and lost…

by FeR on March 23, 2016 in blabs

‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

– Alfred Lord Tennyson –

I have wondered about this quote before but I thought about it again when I heard the news about how a youth pastor was struck by lightning and passed away, leaving his wife and four children behind.

When a loved one is taken away from you so suddenly, is it really better to have loved and lost? Does it make that gaping-hole feeling any better? Is it any comfort? Perhaps the pain would be temporary, I don’t know. I could not even begin to imagine the feeling. When I think about it, I naturally wish that I would be in a position to have never loved at all. It’s painful even to try imagining how it would feel.

What if the loss is not by death but by demise of love (if you subscribe to that notion)? Would you love again in the future? I don’t believe love dies. If anything, it’s probably because it has succumbed to selfish interests. Some may think that loving is a big risk – I would think so, too. However, I think it’s only a risk if you expect a return. Loving unconditionally will not make you think of “loss”. It is something I have yet to truly experience (they say when you have a child, you’d know the feeling of unconditional love). I am human after all…despite knowing love should be unconditional, I would be lying to say I have never ever expected anything back. I try to lower or negate the expectation, to love because God first loved us.

I’m not saying that I advocate shutting everything out. I believe loving or being loved is something that makes you quite vulnerable. Exposed, in fact. The capacity to feel so much happiness but at the same time, the capacity to experience great grief – mind boggling! We are such complex creatures.

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