I seem to have lost my enthusiasm. For everything.
It’s a weird feeling of wanting to do so much yet at the same time I’m reluctant to budge. Does that make sense?
Another part of me mourn the loss.
Loss of contact with many people. Loss of contact with family.
I’m not only talking about literal contact, I mean it in the sense of personal connection, too.
I see/read/hear about people meeting up with their old friends – the excitement from both ends are enviable.
I think about you but at the same time I feel like we’ve drifted so far apart that I have not much to say. This lack of knowledge of what to say holds me back from contact or in the event if I do, I have not much to add on after “How are you?”
Sure, I can update you about what’s going on with me but relationships are two-way connections. I feel like I’m the only one who feels guilty about not initiating contact. Why is it so when for that equal length of time, you did not contact me?
I have so much in my head that I’d really like to write down but I’m unmotivated to start. Why?! Then, as a result of my laziness, I get frustrated because I’ve not “let it out”.
I shall go lie in bed now.
Comments on this entry are closed.