Wed 30 Dec 2009
I’m in my late 20s!
I don’t know what triggered it off but suddenly I’m feeling all panicky about my age. What have I achieved so far?!
I feel that I’ve not done much in my life – where did all the time go? It’s going to be a decade since I stepped into university and as reminded by HongHui, it’s our 12th year since we’ve left secondary school.
Have you ever thought about what you would be or be doing when you’re at a certain age? Or what you would WANT to have achieved by a certain age? Like how 15 year old Marshall wrote a letter to his 30 year old self (yes, many “re-runs” of How I Met Your Mother).
I’ve never been there. As in I’ve never thought about it.
Ask my teenage self what I would be doing now, I would probably say, “I don’t know.” She would never have dreamt or thought that she would be a pharmacist now, working in New Zealand.
Do I lack dream and ambition?
I have to admit, I’m still (very slowly) getting to know myself – so I can’t even think of what I want to see my older self achieving. I can only say I know what I would want to tell my younger self NOT to do – now with that, I have specific points I’d like to change or avoid.
I want to have my own place by the time I turn 30 – sadly, I don’t see things gearing towards that direction.
My “life plan” for the sake of my biological clock? It obviously did not coincide with God’s plans for me.
The life I envisioned before I got here is different from what it is now – where is my extra time for hobbies? I can only say it’s my own doings – not feeling motivated.
Ah!
I have a mixture of feelings at the moment when I think about family and friends. I miss the good old days of being under the same roof as my family, arguing with korkor, weekend visits to PJ/KL, hanging out after school, movies on weekends, etc. I miss my friends and time from school, other schools, college, uni, work in Seremban and KL.
It’s such a cliche but really, you don’t know what you’re missing till it’s gone.
I can’t wait to go back home but at the same time, I know it’s not going to be exactly the same as how I’ve left it. I know for a fact that if I continue to slack in my correspondence with friends, I will have nothing in the end.
I think about my best/close friends and I don’t seem to know them anymore – I did not keep myself updated with their changes/lives and I have a feeling I’m so far off that I’m probably more of an acquaintance than a friend now. I miss the young, gung-ho me – the one who keeps herself updated with what others are up to, the one who remembers people’s birthdays without referring to notes/calendars, the one who MAKES gifts, the one who writes, the one who calls…
Sorry if I’ve not written, or said hello, or asked, “How are you?” – just know that I have thought of you and have remembered you in prayers.
I do not want to turn into an old spinster with no friends because of my own doings.
Aging crisis…indeed.
December 31st, 2009 at 1:33 am
Dont wori about it, as i know the jenifer woon i know is a strong women, plus if u feel tat u havent fulfill any of ur dream do it now and as for the past decade take it as a lesson and u might get a full laugh on what u have done for the last decade. About u being an old spinster, i dont think u need to wori about that , i have a feeling u will find someone very nice and suitable for u this year.
December 31st, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I think this blog will start a chain of reaction in everyone who read it. It got me thinking about myself and my life and where I am now.
December 31st, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Well.. I think almost everyone will face that kind of scenario at one stage in their life. Believe it or not, we can always plan something in our life but it’s still up to Him to decide if we’re going what we had planned. So I feel it’s alright as long as we don’t feel regret when we look back once in a while what we achieved.
Happy New Year 2010 in advance! Hope you will achieve your New Year resolutions and be Blessed with abundance of joy and health…
December 31st, 2009 at 8:26 pm
me too. my life goals due date was 28. n i’m 28 nex yr. kinda miserable thinking about it. some of the kids call me old. but some tell me i’m not tat old and that i shudnt think like tat. hehe.
when u coming back?
merry christmas and a happy new year. ppl say nex yr will b better.
January 1st, 2010 at 6:40 am
Happy New Year !!!
The most important of it all, is to know that you’re in the center of His will. His ways are higher and He has a purpose for us yah?
January 5th, 2010 at 8:42 am
Bon Annee! There’s where Facebook comes in handy! Now you got a way to remember birthdays and see how your friends are doing even if you don’t have the drive to be so gung-ho anymore.
You’re probably thought of as, “Fer ah? Now working in New Zealand wor! Good hor?” and that’s pretty much it…just like how we’ve not really kept in touch with our Klangite high school friends. Importantly you have friends nearby that you can meet up frequently rather than pine of friends far away.
January 5th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
MooKL: wah! part time fortune teller?
LiMay: well, we’re at different stages of life ma…
Williams: thanks for the wishes
Anne: ah! My “goal” has expired and expiry coming into 3rd year now.
NDrew: yes, I’m glad no matter what happens, I know I have one rock to turn to!
Janvier: ah! But FB can have pseudo information or non at all, too. And the lack of the gung-ho-ness makes me lazy actually. I miss being with people who knows me, from my past.
January 11th, 2010 at 4:29 am
It’s okay. I feel, somewhat, older too.
There, you’re not alone.
And….. Moo Kok Leong? Whoaaa…..
January 11th, 2010 at 10:41 am
ya ya, thanks.