I’m in my late 20s!
I don’t know what triggered it off but suddenly I’m feeling all panicky about my age. What have I achieved so far?!
I feel that I’ve not done much in my life – where did all the time go? It’s going to be a decade since I stepped into university and as reminded by HongHui, it’s our 12th year since we’ve left secondary school.
Have you ever thought about what you would be or be doing when you’re at a certain age? Or what you would WANT to have achieved by a certain age? Like how 15 year old Marshall wrote a letter to his 30 year old self (yes, many “re-runs” of How I Met Your Mother). 
I’ve never been there. As in I’ve never thought about it.
Ask my teenage self what I would be doing now, I would probably say, “I don’t know.” She would never have dreamt or thought that she would be a pharmacist now, working in New Zealand.
Do I lack dream and ambition?
I have to admit, I’m still (very slowly) getting to know myself – so I can’t even think of what I want to see my older self achieving. I can only say I know what I would want to tell my younger self NOT to do – now with that, I have specific points I’d like to change or avoid.
I want to have my own place by the time I turn 30 – sadly, I don’t see things gearing towards that direction.
My “life plan” for the sake of my biological clock? It obviously did not coincide with God’s plans for me.
The life I envisioned before I got here is different from what it is now – where is my extra time for hobbies? I can only say it’s my own doings – not feeling motivated.
Ah!
I have a mixture of feelings at the moment when I think about family and friends. I miss the good old days of being under the same roof as my family, arguing with korkor, weekend visits to PJ/KL, hanging out after school, movies on weekends, etc. I miss my friends and time from school, other schools, college, uni, work in Seremban and KL.
It’s such a cliche but really, you don’t know what you’re missing till it’s gone.
I can’t wait to go back home but at the same time, I know it’s not going to be exactly the same as how I’ve left it. I know for a fact that if I continue to slack in my correspondence with friends, I will have nothing in the end.
I think about my best/close friends and I don’t seem to know them anymore – I did not keep myself updated with their changes/lives and I have a feeling I’m so far off that I’m probably more of an acquaintance than a friend now. I miss the young, gung-ho me – the one who keeps herself updated with what others are up to, the one who remembers people’s birthdays without referring to notes/calendars, the one who MAKES gifts, the one who writes, the one who calls…
Sorry if I’ve not written, or said hello, or asked, “How are you?” – just know that I have thought of you and have remembered you in prayers.
I do not want to turn into an old spinster with no friends because of my own doings.
Aging crisis…indeed.
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