How long exactly am I allowed to mourn yea?

Brinkley’s still not anywhere near home.

All I’m hoping for now is for a miracle to happen. That Brinkley would one day be sitting at home waiting when I arrive.
*sigh*

I thank God that I’ve got supportive friends. Friends to listen to me cry, to listen to me ask questions (tho I wasn’t really asking them), to listen to me moan, to listen to my explanations, to give me hugs, to ask if I’m okay, to ask if there’s any news on Brinkley, to take me out, to cheer me up, etc.

Without them, I’d be even worse than I am now. I thought I had no more tears to cry…well, I bawled like nobody’s business last night. Duch reminded me so much of Brinkley and to think when I got home, no Brinkley’s going to be there.

Mom asked me to go over for a break. I haven’t got two weeks off. Going over for a week would be a waste of ticket.

Kristin emailed me the technician job. I should go give it a try.

Now suddenly I’m all free. Free from r’ship commitment, free from commitment to take care of Brinkley. Yet I feel so lost and don’t know what I can do. I used to think of working overseas but the commitments held me back.
Now?
I just don’t know.

I guess some may be worried.
Some say I’m strong. I’m coping well.
Well, I can tahan quite well and then when I get home, all alone, I break down lor. I don’t feel strong.

Oh. Elaine loaned me “PS I love you” – so very wrong book to recommend at the moment. But I’ve started reading it and I don’t want to stop. Now when I cry, it takes 2 seconds for eyes to sting because I’ve been overworking my tear glands.

I love you, Brinks. Please come home.
I miss you very very very very very very much.
I’m sorry if you think I didn’t care anymore.
I do. I really do.

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Brinkley, please come home. I have never not loved you. We were supposed to eat some longans together, remember?

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Kesian enough or not my face?

Oooo! Is that soup?!

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I was very upset yesterday. Dropped the phone at about 6pm or so in the cab. Didn’t even get the cab company’s name. Didn’t even get the name or the cab number. Even if I wanted to call cab company – don’t know which one to call.

I called own phone – phone was switched off already! THAT WAS FAST!

No choice – called Maxis to suspend the line. I was thinking – shoot. Line under mom’s name. How? I couldn’t even get a replacement sim without her around.

Colleague said, “Forget it lah, let it go. It’s gone already.”

All my messages. My contacts. Some were new contacts! I didn’t back it up!

Rummaged thru PDA to find Keat’s number to get HongHui’s number. I was supposed to meet up with Lav and all but I don’t have anyone’s number that could link to their number. Get it? Pah!

While my colleague showered, I sat down and cried. Self pity lah. Went down to the lobby personally to look – nothing there. Oh well.

—

Went to take a cab to go to Orchard. Irene said, “Eh! I think it’s this company’s cab leh.” When I climbed in, I recognised the meter/screen thing, “Ya! That one also had the same thing!” The driver wasn’t very optimistic. He said if I left it at the back seat, then phone should’ve been gone. If driver saw it, SURE will give it back. I told him, “But my phone was switched off when I tried calling it.” Then he said, “Oh. Must be gone already. Most probably another passenger took it.”

Irene helped me call the cab company anyway. Told them what time we took the cab, from where to where, cabbie’s race (that’s the most we remember!)…the oddest thing is they even asked for phone model’s name after telling them it’s an SE. Wah! People here very updated on phone models, huh? *hehe*

Anyway, we left the hotel’s phone number to the operator and she said she’ll ring us if there’s any news. I was thinking to myself, one hour after it was missing only we called, don’t think will get anything. That was the so-called “logical” part of me. The optimistic part was thinking, “I’m going to get my phone back.”

I know I said I wanted a new phone, but not NOW! I don’t have the money! That’s what I told God. That was what I was praying – miracle miracle miracle. God, give me a miracle.

—

Was able to eat well at Paragon. A lot of siew loong pau’s! *hehe* Such carnivors. After browsing around in Kinokuniya (Irene wanted to get tarot cards), we walked back to the hotel. SUPER MEGA long walk. Although it isn’t TOO far but because we went on the wrong direction, then had to turn back and sort.

When we got back to the hotel, I went to the phone. I was thinking more about HongHui’s call because he said he’d call at night but I was greeted by a message from cab driver and cab company!!!

PRAISE GOD!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—

It’s good I have a lau kiap phone.

I got the phone back from the driver at about 9.30am today. *beams*

—

The cab driver. Huh! Now THAT is another story to tell altogether…and why I thought to myself that, “Confirmed phone is gone.”

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