June 2006

Phoebe

by FeR on June 23, 2006 in family & friends

She is 40k old now.

This is the road that we were passing when she turned 40k.

This is the day after she turned 40k. The morning after – was working the morning shift.

See lah! Have to leave for work when the sun is still sleeping. *sigh*

—

I sent Kay off on the 17th. It was my first time (ab)using my pass to send someone off. Right to the boarding gate. *hehe* She said she didn’t like taking pictures but in the end obliged to three. First two artistic ones were hers *hehe!* and the last boring picture was mine.

This is the girl I’ve not met in 7 years but still recognize her writing!

This is the girl who is still the same as ever. The hand gestures, the way she talks, the way she laughs.

This is the girl I used to see everyday and yet email to everyday when we were in SAM, Taylors.

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Dancing and underwear

by FeR on June 22, 2006 in just me

Dancing in underwear in the like of Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels. *hehe*

Nah! Different story!

Got a box of goodies from mom. A bag of dog goodies for Brinkley, too! In that box I’ve been given 5 spanking new Pink underwear and one boxers. *hehe* Doggy motives all over!
Yay! New undies!!! *dances around*

Was listening to the CD JoFo gave me for my birthday last year. “Salvation” and “Tell the World” made me think of waking up to those two songs and dancing/jumping around! That would be refreshing!
From songs to thinking of dancing/jumping to thoughts of having a nice stereo system in a place of my own. We don’t have any in the house. The only place I could play a CD is either in my room (on my laptop) or in the car (after whacking it a few times to get the CD in). So having a nice player would be great! In my own place. I can wake up, put on a CD and go around getting ready with the music on.
Can’t do this at home now because it’s not private enough. *hehe* I meant going around the apartment with undies, getting ready for work, dancing, singing, brushing teeth, showering, etc. I can’t blast the music super duper loud, right? So I’ve got to leave all the doors open (except the front one!) in order for the music to “circulate”.

Thus I need more privacy = play can only be done when I have my own place.

My apartment is going to be so happening. To me. *hehe*
There’ll be dinners
Me cook. Me be good hostess.

There’ll be movie nights
Me will have microwave. Me will get microwave-able popcorn. Me will have decent-sized TV with good sound system (which would also be source of my “dancing” music).

There’ll be concerts and karaoke session
Me will have good sound/stereo system, remember? If not an all-in-one player, me will have a slim DVD player.

There’ll be sleep/make-overs
Me have manicure kits. Shame to not share. Me can’t do my right hand. Me will have lotsa pillows in the hall. Me will make BigMonkey permanent resident of the living room so that people can cuddle him. Me already have perfect sofa in mind.

There’ll be tea-weekends
Me bake. Me make tea. Me make thong sui.

There’ll be games!
Me will stock living room with Taboo (got it!), Scrabble (vision friendly version or Deluxe set!), Monopoly, Pictionary, Boggle, etc.

There’ll be a chill-out room
For me. *hehe* Piano (electric, can’t move upright around easily!), brand spanking new computer, mini personal library of mindless books (throw in a few mindful ones), craft table and craft material drawers/cupboards. Maybe me will learn another instrument so the “other instrument” will also be in this room.

There’ll be a guest room
With a comfty bed. If not, me will have mattress for you. *hehe* Me will get guest towels.

There’ll be SOS sessions
Me will welcome all friends who need place to hang out/share sob stories/need moral support/need listening ear/need company. Me will get a big bed so can talk till we doze off. Uhmm…this option only for girlfriends. Who doesn’t mind me snoring…sometimes. For guyfriends – also can! Venue would be in the living room. Perfect sofa, remember? And lotsa pillows.

Now. Aren’t you more convinced to support “Give-FeR-her-own-place” fund? *hehe* Also need suggestion on where’s best to have this “happening apartment” (location). Not that I have funds to start yet but am looking around first.

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Love never fails

by FeR on June 22, 2006 in personal

That’s the title on page “June 21st” in Our Daily Bread.

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13:13

I woke up to that and some thoughts came to mind. There seem to be quite a discussion regarding this issue (romantically inclined) between my friends and I recently.

Sometimes the world makes you feel “selfish” and you’d want to protect yourself from getting hurt – so you hold back on what you can truly give out. Am I making sense?
Basically I’ve been here and there.

Here
Here is giving all I’ve got. Loving with all my heart. Caring with all I have. Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. If I give my all, people would feel it and would give their all to me, too. If I give 100%, they would also put in 100%.

There
There is when being “here” leaves me with disappointment. With hurts. So I chose to go there where I become selfish. I hold back. I love cautiously or don’t at all. I care less or try not to. I treat others in reflection of how they treat me. I won’t give my all because people short-change you all the time. Even if I give 200%, they wouldn’t care – so why bother?

I went thru that because I felt bitter. Or perhaps I expected too much. Loving someone gives them the power to hurt you. I don’t want to give anyone that “privilege”. After some time of “do unto others as you would want others to do unto you” and you don’t get them doing what you do for them…I can’t help feeling disappointed. I can’t help feeling hopeless. I can’t help feeling that it’s all NOT worth it. Why care so much when others don’t give two hoots? Why bother when you may get hurt in the end? Why think so much for others?

I’m back at here though. I still practice “do unto others” and I believe in giving 100%. I believe in loving someone whole heartedly and caring for them genuinely even if it doesn’t end up the way you want it. In the end of the day if something bad happens, at least I know I’ve done my part – it isn’t my fault. I didn’t short-change you. I didn’t back out on you. I didn’t mistreat you. I didn’t mislead you. I didn’t ignore you. I didn’t hold back on my love.
People tell me it’s crazy because you don’t give yourself “insurance” when you give everything. You should “reserve” something so you won’t fall that badly, so you won’t get hurt. I may be a fool but at least I know I gave all I had. I gave my best. It may put me through pain that I cannot imagine/take but at least I won’t be tortured by, “maybe if I were more…or if I had done…or if I tried to be more…” because I’ve given EVERYTHING. When you open yourself to others, you risk getting hurt but my assurance is that God is Love.

Bah! I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. What I’m trying to say is that although people say it’s crazy to let your guard down (in this day and time), at least I know I’ve given my best, my all. I didn’t short-change anyone.

—

Love Never Fails talked about an elderly couple – married for over 50 years and still very much in love.

Last week I saw Barbara lean over Claude’s bed, kiss him, and whisper, “I love you.” Claude replied, “You’re beautiful.”

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10pm and I’m sleepy.

June 12, 2006

* LOTS of Brinkley’s pictures. Flee if you are on dial-up or have immense/intense hatred for dogs. Thank you. I feel like an old fart. Then again, older people don’t need much sleep or can’t sleep that much, right? Anyway, been a looooong day although it’s my half-day at work. Thankfully yesterday’s headache was gone [...]

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Happy Birthday ZiFaiKoon!

June 7, 2006

This is the handsome face that pops up in my phone whenever he messages or call me (if that EVER happens. *hehe*). This is our beloved ZiFaiKoon! No, that’s not his real name. I remember him as being the SHY guy from 6 Kuning and a friend from my class wanted a picture with him. [...]